It's been good to see over 5000 Killie fans take up the season ticket offer and as well as watching the first team your ticket also entitles you to free entry for the reserve/under 21 games every other Monday night. There's a hardcore of a few hundred who religiously turn up to check the progress of the next batch of Killie youngsters and there were plenty on view last Monday. With the big boys preparing for a jaunt to Brechin a very young Killie team took on a more experienced Livi team who included Jim Lauchlan, obviously still searching for a "bigger" club.

The Killie youngsters showed a great attitude to the challenge and twice came from behind to grab an entertaining 3-2 win. 17-year-old striker Stephen Naismith scored the late winner - the wee man had scored a hat trick in the 3-3 draw with Motherwell a few weeks back. His goals have also caught the attention of the national coaches and he recently played all three games in a mini tourney that saw him grab Scotland under 18's goal in a 2-1 defeat to Denmark. The young "Gary Shaw" look-alike still has to strengthen physically but he certainly has an eye for goal - we were saying the same thing about Kris Boyd two years ago! Why not head along to the Theatre of Pies next Monday (7.00pm) and watch the youngsters face Dundee United?

Finally popular Killie fan Richard Thomson has been a notable absentee from both first team and reserve matches this season. The former schoolteacher has been in hospital for a number of weeks and I know he hates missing Killie games at whatever level. Best wishes to Richard from B&H and all his friends at Rugby Park.

Bring on the Yahoos!

Saturday the eleventh of October is starting to look like the football day out to end all football days out. The fun kicks off at 11.30am down Rugby Park way when a Killie over 35's team take on some similarly aged scum players as a warm up to the main event. We don't know about you but personally we can't wait to see Paul Wright and the good lord Wullie Watters up front sticking the ball in the pokey.

Monty has the task of picking the team and that will be quite a task in itself, but we'll be more than happy if he sticks the boot in that wee ratbag Templeton should he dare to appear. Wonder who'll get first dibs on Sludds or Shuggie Burns?

After the golden oldies have finished off their counterparts it's the turn of the current team to do their stuff. The WestSound Trophy, or whatever it's called, kicks off at 12.30pm and we would urge all Killie fans to make the effort to go. The crazy SPL fixture list has handed us gazillion away games on the trot (poetic license) so by charging ten quid for adults and a fiver for kids the club have had the sense to try and make a few sheckles during such a barren spell.

There are those who will grudge paying for the game but as the club have to split everything down the middle with the Yahoos then there was no way that they couldn't charge everyone or they would have ended up severely out of pocket. There is also a bit of a club v country row going on. Not with the players though, with the fans. Scotland has a crucial tie at Hampden against Lithuania that could see them qualify for the Euro 2004 play offs which kicks off at 4.00pm, and this is leaving a lot of Killie fans with a major dilemma as attending both will be very difficult.

In our opinion the match would have been far better played on the Friday night or on the Sunday, but apparently the costs would have rocketed if they did that. How much this will actually affect the crowd wont be known until the day of the match but we'd imagine that a lot of punters will just go and watch the Scotland game in the pub after the Killie game.

The Scotland game of course is the next part of the equation, so whether it's a mad dash to Hampden or a vodka and a dash in the pub, we then get to cheer on the boys in dark blue. Rounding the full day off of course by having a right good laugh as Engerlund crash and burn in Turkey…if you can still see by then!

Going back slightly to the derby fixture, I've seen a lot of the Yahoos (we call them that on killiefc.com because it's apparently not politically correct to call them what we used to call them) mouthing off in their local rags and their websites about how they are going to give us a going over…again. Well we're not having it! Okay, so they've had a couple of spooky results against us in recent years, but how sad must you be if that's your biggest claim to fame?

Truth be told we'd probably get more of a game from Girvan than the South Ayrshire softies! They are currently hovering around the relegation zone in the first division, unable even to maintain mid table obscurity. Their piggery of a stadium won't allow them access to the Premier League even if they did ever manage to string a few results together and there is more chance of us being mistaken for the Cheeky Girls than them getting someone to pay for a new one. Fair enough, so we're skint too, but who isn't? At least we have something to show for it!

It will be interesting to see how many of them forego their weekly trip to Ayr's Rangers shop (remember the RangAyr scarf they produced?) to see their team soundly spanked by the mighty Killie. Jealousy might get the better of them when they see our shiny new stadium and 4 star hotel. Mind you, they could bring their entire home support and still not fill a section of the Moffat Stand! Legend has it that there is only one team in Ayrshire…legend is 100% correct…and they are currently in the SPL. You'll never take the Killie!

Who Won the Scottish Cup in 1997?

A Killie fan was touring the USA on holiday and stopped in a remote bar in the hills of Nevada. He was chatting to the bartender when he spied an old Indian sitting in the corner. He had tribal gear on, long white plaits, wrinkled face. 'Who's he?' asked the Killie lad.

'That's the Memory Man.' said the bartender. 'He knows everything. He can remember any fact. Go and try him out.' So the intrepid Bellfield boy goes over, and thinking he won't know anything about Scottish football, asks 'Who won the 1997 Scottish Cup Final?' 'Kilmarnock' replies the Memory Man. 'Who did they beat?' 'Falkirk' was the reply. 'And the score?' '1-0' 'Who scored the winning goal?' 'Paul Wright' was the old man's reply.

The young Scot was knocked out by this and told everyone back home about the Memory Man when he got back. A few years later he went back to the USA and tried to find the impressive Memory Man. Eventually he found the bar and sitting in the same seat was the old Indian only this time he was older and more wrinkled. Because he was so impressed the Killie boy decided to greet the Indian in his native tongue. He approached him with the traditional Indian greeting 'How'.
The Memory man replied…'right foot shot from a corner in the 21st minute'. Ah, the old ones are the best ones right enough!

A Star Is Born

It's not often we get to bring you happy news and we've had a fair few sad ones this season with a few untimely departures. Speaking of which, the Travel Club are holding a race night soon to raise funds to erect a memorial for the Puddock, we'll give you more details when we have them. Back to the happy news...it's a hearty B&H congratulations to our mate big Simon from Darvel and his wife Yvonne who welcomed their first son, Callum Robert Grant, into the world last week. Simon is Killie daft and a decent centre half on his day so hopefully young Callum will follow in his dad's footsteps and want to play for Ayrshire's finest!