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EVERYONE told us that we’d lose plenty of weight the first week and then it would slow down, and that’s exactly what happened, but this week we’re right back on track. At the weigh-in on Sunday Hippo had lost 4lbs, Bluehand lost 4lbs, Swanny (okay, we spell it different ever week) lost 1lbs, Oboab checked in from Madrid 3lbs down and Baz shed 8lbs. All in all not bad considering that during the week all I felt I had lost was the will to live!

The difference this week has probably been that we’ve stepped up on visits to the gym. Apologies to any Howard fatties reading this, we won’t say the ‘G’ word too often. Fitness First and the Killie gym both offered us training facilities to help with our weight loss programme (cheers guys) but because the Fat Boys Slim Challenge is all about the club then we though it best to take them up on their offer.

Assistant manager at the Killie Fitness Centre, Clair Stuart, has volunteered to put us through the mill, sorry, our paces, once a week for the duration of the slimathon. We started last week with a general workout in the gym to test how fit we were. To say Clair looked a bit worried by our efforts is an understatement, our faces were redder than Baggios, and that was only after the warm up! It did wonders for the diet though, for two days after that session our arms we were too sore to lift a knife and fork.

This week we tried our hand at ‘Boxercising’. Punching lumps out of stuff certainly makes the time pass quicker but it’s no less exhausting. In the blue corner we had Sandy ‘limp-wrist’ Armour who despite being brought up in wildest Bellfield couldn’t fight sleep. In the other blue corner (well it’s a Killie gym) we had Barry ‘less co-ordination than a cross-eyed kangaroo’ Richmond who was odds on favourite due to my Hurlford heritage. Needless to say the punch-bag won. Don’t let anyone ever tell you that skipping is girly!

Again we’d like to thank everyone who has stopped us in the street and pledged cash to the cause, we are trying to do something positive for the fans and the club here and every penny is appreciated…have you done your bit yet? Contact Baz on 0771 055 3693 or call Sandy on 0774 771 8754. The Fat Boys Slim Challenge is sponsored by Klin Homes, J.R.D. Partnership (Accountants), Fortress Security, Goldsmiths, Millennium Beauty, The Cut Above, Duncan McLean Solicitors, Ritchie (UK) Ltd. and Fitness First…bung us 100 bucks and your name will be added to this list of local businesses who are big enough to give the fans something back.

Shop Until You Drop

WE go on about the Killie Shop quite a bit in our column and quite rightly so, the shop is a very important revenue stream for the club and it makes sense for us to push it. I (literally) paid the shop a visit on Monday with my nephew from London to kit him out with all manner of goodies to take back down to Engerlund with him. Josie had a stack of stuff to offer and the old Switch card took a real battering but it was all good value for money.

He got a scarf and hat, a Killie mug (for his Arsenal supporting dad), a bank, a jigsaw, an eggcup, a door plaque, a pennant, a football, a t-shirt…and the list goes on. Okay, it was a bit of a one-off and I’m not suggesting that anyone blows their hard earned emptying the shelves every week (the wife concurs), but in my eyes it’s a worthwhile investment. That’s another wee corner of Engerlund that is forever Killie and in the years to come a whole host of people will be aware of the good ship Killie that would never of heard of us otherwise…and if they are looking for a Scottish team to support then why not us?

Here’s the plan…any time you need to buy a pressie from now on, then make sure you purchase it from the Killie Shop. No matter who or what it’s for, the more obscure the better; make sure it’s branded with something to do with the club. We reckon that if each of our season ticket holders buys two things from the shop and gives them away as a present then by around five years time we will have achieved world domination. Please note that lack of malnutrition can make you mentally unstable.

Skora Must Stay

They say a week is a long time in football and that was certainly the case for Killie last week. After a shocking display against Motherwell at Fir Park we turned in a superb attacking performance against Dundee and created more chances than we have in any other game for a long time. It was a pleasure to see the smiling faces stream out the Theatre of Pies chirping away about the six-goal thriller they had just witnessed.

Many players in the team produced their best form of the season on the same day with Danny Invincibile (up front at last) showing the ability we all knew he had when we watched him pre-season. Danny and Kris Boyd look like a decent partnership and the pair linked up to good effect all afternoon. Big Boydie is a 20 goals a season striker for us but we forget he's still just 20 years old. As long as he listens and learns he has all the attributes needed for a top class striker. We did still manage to leak a couple of goals but the fans wont worry too much as long as they are being rattled in at the other end.

The three guys mentioned above were all excellent but even they could not dislodge Eric Skora as the man of the match. The on loan Frenchman is a class act and some of the contributors on the Killiefc.com message board cannot praise him highly enough. Here are a few post-match comments and suggestions:

“If we are to keep Skora it is imperative that things start moving sooner rather than later, or we will get to the end of season and it will be too late to get anything organised.”

“I think it needs a three pronged approach to get round the financial obstacles. Firstly, as has been mentioned before, if 1,500 fans agree to contribute a direct debit amounting to £2 a week, that would contribute a good portion of his wages, the rest of which could be made up by releasing some of the underachievers at the club. Secondly, local businesses should be encouraged to either contribute to his salary or help with any transfer fee in return for exposure for their companies and/or a guaranteed percentage of any future transfer fee, comparable to their initial investment. Lastly, the board should recognise that they have a genuine talent on their hands who as well as being a catalyst on the field, has the opportunity to spark greater interest and encourage people to the ground in order to watch a true talent.”

“We should be looking at this guy as an investment. We should fork out up to say £300,000 for him plus wages - barring injury which is always a risk so insure him, we could sell him on for £600k-700k in a few years time. The guy is top class and will fetch a serious fee. Obviously we need a helpful benefactor to write the initial cheque!”

“Skora is different class some of his skills on show today were simply fantastic. Worth the money alone to see.”

That's just a small number in what was a massive outburst of praise for "Le God" Part 2. The first three points posted by "jmac" are all excellent ideas and I'd urge the board to look long and hard at getting Skora on a permanent basis. There's no doubt it will be difficult as Preston have stated they want him back but never say never and recent press interviews suggest Eric is enjoying his time at the Theatre of Pies. Perhaps local businesses are important here as they could fund all or part of the wage bill with fans willing to contribute where they can afford to. Come on Killie the ball is in your court, we've no doubt the gamble of forking out for Eric will turn into a lucrative long-term investment. We’ll sign a direct debit form now!

Hippo 32A??

Following the unprecedented success of the first 32 issues we've decided to try another and it will be on sale this weekend. Strangely this will be issue 32A rather than the keenly awaited issue 33. The reason for this is quite simple - the legendary Killie Ken fanzine ran for an incredible 33 issues and as a way of paying tribute we won’t have an issue 33.

Richard Cairns did a fantastic job with KK and the fanzine's involvement in the boardroom strife in the 80's was instrumental in helping us get the right guys on board. Without a computer I can assure you Richard must have spent an incredible number of hours working to get 33 issues of Killie Ken on the streets. Needless to say if there were no computer at Hippo Towers we'd be announcing that issue 4 would be on sale this week!

Read the B&H column in the Kilmarnock Standard every week