Holty Talks to Hippo

THE new Killie Hippo (issue 37) hits the streets this weekend and includes an exclusive interview with local hero Gary Holt. The former Killie star is a busy man these days mixing it with the best in the Premiership then doing his best when wee Bertie plays him out of position for his country. Gary's doing us all proud and I'm delighted he found the time to squeeze a Killie Hippo interview into his hectic schedule. He's gone even further up in our estimation by stating his Killie hero is none other than the great man himself, Wullie ‘the carpetfitter’ Watters.

The Scotland situation has been a big talking point especially since Gordon Strachan announced his willingness to take the job if Bertie chucks it. The former Southampton boss is refreshed after a break and we're sure he'd make a great national coach. He might even realise that Holty is a midfielder and that's where you'll get the best out him, unlike some of the tabloids who also seem to think he’s a full back! Just goes to show you how much that lot pay attention to the ‘wee’ teams. If we had a quid for every time the put the wrong name in a caption below a Killie player we’d be millionaires by now.

Last Visit to Tynecastle

WE'RE sure you've all heard about Hearts selling up at Tynecastle and heading across the road to play at Murrayfield. There are still some pressure groups fighting to stay in Gorgie however it's more than likely that Killie's visit on 12 February, 2005 will be our last ever. We hope it's a more enjoyable experience than our penultimate visit last week - that wouldn't be too difficult. Tynecastle is one of the better grounds in the country providing a great atmosphere due to the proximity of the fans to the action. Killie normally carry a decent crowd through to the capital and that was certainly the case last weekend.

Of course Tynecastle holds glorious memories for Killie fans everywhere as it was the venue for the greatest day in our history. The club are organising several events to commemorate that famous day but maybe it's time for the fans to organise the biggest party of all. Our final visit is shortly before the 40th anniversary of the league win so how fitting if Killie fans turned out in their thousands and made it a day to remember. Killie fan Bob Wallace suggested on killiefc.com that the fans should organise a "big day oot" and that's what we propose to do.

We're aiming to fill as many seats as possible and would love to hear your ideas on what could be arranged to mark this poignant occasion. We're looking for buses to be laid on from all Killie pubs, clubs and organisations. We could try and organise an event for our return to the town and a presentation could be made to our 1965 heroes. Let's hear your ideas and help us make this another memorable day at Tynecastle - we'll probably never get another chance.

Trust Update

AUGUST marks the first anniversary of the official launch of the Trust and it is appropriate now to reflect on progress and give members the opportunity to raise any issues relevant to the Trust at this time. To provide this opportunity we would like to invite you to an open meeting on Monday, August 30. Come along to The Park Suite at 7:30pm and meet the Board. This is an opportunity to find out about current progress, future plans and give us your views and ideas on the Trust and its aims. Your Board is particularly keen to hear your ideas on how the Trust can be developed and to encourage more of the membership to become involved with Trust activities and building up the strength of the organisation.

The latest online development allows members to sign up or renew membership online using PayPal as the method of payment. For those who prefer more traditional methods renewal forms and membership forms can be downloaded from the web site, printed off and completed by hand. These forms, and the appropriate fee can then be posted to the address shown, handed in at the Trust desk on match days or brought to any Trust open meeting. Find the forms at: http://www.killietrust.org The web site also gives information about Trust activities, merchandise and how to make contact with Trust office bearers. Hope to see you all on the 30th…John B Miller (Secretary of the Kilmarnock Supporters’ Society Ltd).

Scotsbore

STV’s latest footy program on a Monday night got absolutely slaughtered the first week it was aired but despite not actually seeing it we went along, with a few other Killie fans, to the filming of the second edition at Cowcaddens last week. To be honest there is not much we can tell you about it…what you see is basically what you get, but fortunately for the viewers you miss out on standing around for hours on end under red hot studio lights.

It seems pretty trendy at the moment to slag the program off but we don’t think it’s as bad as some people are making out…at least they are trying to get fans involved and they learned a few lessons after the first debacle. There are now more highlights shown and every game gets an even amount of air time. For the most part they try and take comments from a fan of every team and Margot McCrone did the honours (and did well) for us last week but we hardly got a mention this week because of the Jambos stadium issues.

We were invited back (as eye candy for the ladies of course) but unless there is some point we really want to get across then we doubt if we’d do it again. Saying that, we recommend you give it a bash at least once to see for yourself how it all comes together. They do give you twenty beer tokens and free sarnies for making the effort! If you fancy getting your mug on national TV, or even better getting within punching distance of Andy Walker, then give Francis a bell at the studio on 0141 1300 3096…and when you’re famous remember who got you your first break!

Shafted Again?

WE realise that we may be starting to whine more than Keith Floyd (groan) but it just seems to come naturally to the pair of us what with all those chips on our shoulders. In true Fast Show style this week we mostly be having a go at…the SPL.
Picture the scene next Sunday…the first old firm fixture of the season on Pay-Per-View telly and the majority of Scottish footy fans packed into the boozer to watch the twisted sisters kicking lumps out of each other. Two hours of blood and snotters and copious amounts of lager later and how many of said punters will decide to make a mad dash for Rugby Park to watch Killie thrash the Pars? Barring season ticket holders, not a lot, and that’s an understatement.

Crazy fixture scheduling by the SPL beaks is an all too common occurrence (as far as we’re aware we’ve still to play Inverness in Aberdeen at New Year) but surely even those dimwits could have managed to avoid the aforementioned situation? It’s hard enough for the club to attract a decent crowd these days but what chance have you got when they make you play ten minutes after a televised old firm game? We were under the impression that’s the reason why they don’t allow broadcasts at 3.00pm on a Saturday…but it’s okay a day later?

They could easily have made the sisters kick off an hour or two earlier and kept the fans out of the pub before the game…no, that makes far too much sense! If pub opening hours don’t come into the equation then what was wrong with even giving us an early kick off and putting them on the box at 4.00pm or later? We’ll tell you why…because they never even thought about it because Dunfermline and Killie don’t matter to them. Our income will be slashed while the more affluent teams rake in even more cash. Of course it’s not the first time, nor will it be the last, but until we stand our ground on the issue then it will never be resolved…get them told Killie.

Tune in next week when we will be trashing the Killie kit man for the way the players were turned out at Tynecastle and big Tetley will be getting ripped into the Laura Ashley Summer collection. Sorry, we couldn’t resist that. Our chum was ‘less than amused’ shall we say that we forgot to mention he nipped into the first pub he could find as he was desperate for a Jimmy Riddle…so we thought we’d better put the story ‘straight’ and save him getting any more unnecessary abuse! Okay, that’s a few beers we owe you Big T…is it safe to come back to the pub yet?

Read the B&H column in the Kilmarnock Standard every week