Glasgow
Rangers Football Club were entered into the Guinness Book of Records
last night when they officially became the biggest joke in the world.
Not only did they succeed in getting the whole of Scotland laughing, but
the whole of Europe was in stitches as the news of their “easy tie”
against Lithuanian brickies and Hearts rejects reverberated around the
globe.
Not exactly renowned for their contribution to world peace, it has been
hailed as somewhat of a turnaround by the former Glasgow giants and
manager Walter Smith has been heralded as a tactical mastermind for
orchestrating the events that led to their record breaking success.
Smith’s policy of spending millions on training facilities and then
systematically cherry picking the rest of the SPL’s young talent has
long mystified Scottish football supporters, but now they are literally
having the last laugh...although some sceptics would say by default
rather than by design.
The motto of Glasgow Rangers used to be ‘Aye Work Awa’ which was then
changed to ‘Ready, Aye Ready’, subsequently shortened to
‘Aye Ready’ and finally in 1966 to ‘Ready’. This morning
manager Smith,
once stopped in his tracks by the mighty Killie from
winning ten titles in a row, was surprisingly coy about his tour de
force claiming “We weren’t Ready”. Thousands of ‘Gers fans have
now been admitted to the Southern General hospital in a state of general
confusion.
The Teddy Bear’s proposed moved to English football was also put in
doubt after Pilibaitis’s late goal gave birth to a million belly laughs.
The chairman of the favourites to win the league, Phill Wallace, said
“Stevenage Borough will vote against any attempt by Glasgow Rangers to
join our league, they just don’t have the quality to cut it at this
level, and their fans smell a bit”.
So where does this leave the new world record holders with their
domestic season yet to get underway and only their arch rivals Queen of
the South and Celtic still in European competition? “We are not to
bothered about the revenue side of things” said the much loved
Martin Bayne, “We are just going to up the 5% surcharge on away
tickets to 95% and generate cash that way, let’s face it, we do what we
want anyway”.
